Being an Artist

8/29/07
I just left the Ledisi concert in NYC at the Highland Ballroom, and damn if that girl can’t sing. And, it’s not just about the singing. Its about the experience…the entire show, the emotions, and the energy; both hers and that of the audience. It was really a great experience. GREAT!!!!
I have followed Ledisi’s career for the past couple of years, and she has a tremendous CV for what the public at large has come to under-expect from independent artists: singing with Chaka Khan, Aretha Franklin, selling out shows on 4 day runs…I mean the list goes on and on. Up until I met her, I was sure the magic of her music was a result of her command of her voice. She is a technician in every way. But once putting that element of knowing her person, and the live show…well, the magic is multi-faceted. She is a talent, and indeed an artist is the true sense. It was her rendition of Yesterday, that reminded me of just how being able to sing and perform is such a gift. At least for me, it was cathartic in the sense that when I am on stage, its like an out of body experience, like God is working, even when I am singing not so Godly songs. It’s like I am an instrument, because what I am doing and feeling is so natural and flowing. Like I am a puppet. But it’s the best feeling, like I belong.
The good thing about seeing her show too, and it probably wouldn’t have happened had I not met her before, was that I was an artist watching her, and I experienced it as such. In my daily pursuit of success as a recording artist, I have become so self-centered and driven, that I sometimes loose sight of other folks outside of myself; its kinda’ a blessing and a curse consistent with the mindset of running a race…while you are running, you look straight ahead, not to the sides or behind, just to the finish. Nevermind, Dr. Ruby Glover, jazz extraordinaire telling me… in art there is no competition (blushing in embarrassment). But tonight, I was very much an artist experiencing Led’s art and living, growing and breathing though that experience, and in turn making my art, I guess, even more fortified (not to mention my run on sentences and poor grammar). Isn’t that what it is all about? Sharing, giving and taking? I am really sounding like some Iyanla Vanzant/Orpah shit, but…what’s the point of doing anything creative if no one or nothing is CHANGED? Whether it is me, or someone that hears or sees my stuff. If no one is changed, then the art has failed. Its gotta’ make you think, make you laugh, cry, disagree, go home and make love, blush, SOMETHING.

When I gave Led a kiss goodnight after her show, I passed her a note that I wrote during her set and it read:

U SANG YOUR ASS OFF!!! U touched me tonight, AMAZING, you make me want to be a better man, a better artist, a better person and grateful for it all. Thank you BOO.

You know, why limit that shit to just my art…how about in life. I want to change folks, make them think. Everyone that I meet, I want to add something to their life no matter how fleeting.

Damn…now I really feel good.

Raising the bar!

So, last night, I had a meeting with a good friend/colleague of mine that has begun her journey in her creative career moving upward. I was so happy for her, I was moved to tears, the punk that I am. But it is a testimony to myself that I am growing into an even more open creative spirit. As an artist, I always have this innate competitive component that lives just behind my left ear that says: "thats good for her/him, but what are you doing...work harder, push more, get yours too." More consistently though, I am recognizing that that little voice is getting quieter, and I genuinely happy that my friends & my colleagues are enjoying such success and strides in their careers. Its that selfish self-centeredness that makes the artist say..."well, what about me?". That's dangerous, but necessary for our individual preservation. I am getting so closer to perfecting yet another tight-right act, walking b/t the two perspectives, and being cool with where I am at any given point and time. Note to self: who do I think I am...Oprah? AHAHAHAHAHA.
So, the other break-through last night was: I hung out with two mentors of mine in the "business", who happened to be 20+ year veterans. They have enjoyed alot of the Platinum days" of music, and now at this sweeping merger state, where there will be JUST ONE MAJOR RECORD LABEL..pretty soon; they offer alot of great informed perspectives. We meet up at an Angie Stone show for Von Dutch, speaking of..now that is a industry study. I have always liked Angie Stone and her records, always. But watching her smash an impromptu, a capella hour long set with cocktail in hand, well...kudos to her dammit! And there was a mixed crowd for sure, black, white, East Indian, Men, women, Soho jetset, Gay, straight...and hey were all singing the words to her songs. Even songs I didn't know. It was refreshing! It was good to meet her again and get her down home flavor. I would imagine its the only way to be in the smoke and mirrors business. Gotta' find a way to be solid...why not just be real.
So the zinger of the night...I was chatting about business to one of the mentors in Publishing, and he said to me "Not everyone that is Dope should be a star. Not everyone that can sing has that potential". So, of course I went on to defend my under-rated underground bretheren...with, "if you want polish and bling, it has to be paid for. Most of the dope underground artists spend their budget on dope ass music." And then, he shut me up with: Russell, if you were to never make another record, would you be missed? Maxwell and Sade are the only ones right now in "Urban Music" OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!. I couldn't answer that question. I remain proud of my freshman record, but I can't really say that folks would miss me. I had no rebuttal. But what I did do is write that quote down to post on my bedroom and studio walls, to remind me, that the next record has to be to that standard.
Here's to raising the bar...

MOODY BLUE...and crazy too!

I promised myself that I will write more, so I am writing. Its gonna help me get the new music churning too, so write I shall.
I have been in an artist funk lately. I went to this year’s Soul Summit in ATL, and man I love that city. Best case scenario, I would live in NYC, LA, and ATL. Claim it and so it shall be. I got to see some of my artist friends that I haven’t seen in a bit all in one place. But then, I got to meet some new folks that I really enjoyed. It’s cool to meet people that I listen to and enjoy and have them say to me that they listen and enjoy me too. Actually, it blows my mind. It’s a supreme compliment…kinda’ like the vibrations are aligned, and the creation is affirmed: like minds/things attract each other….that whole SECRET thing. Speaking of which, I am a big proponent of the Secret’s platform, even before it was recognized as The Secret. But, here lately, its been kinda’ hard because of all the unstable energy around me. That’s what my artist funk has been about…there is a lot of junk floating around out there, and since I am blessed (and I say blessed, though it can be a curse sometimes) with artist sensibilities, I am very sensitive to my environment. Sometimes, its difficult to discern between what is good for me, or bad for me, and even more tricky..what is indifferently grey for me. So, I have gotten caught up in my moodiness. Then the guilt of: since I am attracting crap, I must be putting it out there…man. I need to change it…round and round I go.
But now, I am OVER IT. Fuck THE SECRET, fuck all this blah blah blah. Stop talking, just do it.
Let me just go ahead and write a song.
☺

Art Imitates Life May 2007

Listening to Ledisi's Sentimental Mood. Damn if that girl can't sing her face off.
I vowed that I would start to blog more often. I try to kid myself and say that I'll do it so folks can get in to my head, but its more so I can get OUT of my own head. ?. The things we tell ourselves to make the medicine go down easier…hey I am human.
So, I am on the train on my way to the WOULD BE rehearsal in Baltimore for the show that almost happened B. McKnight with Joe at the Lyric. There are so many other sides to this business that no matter how hard you try, it is impossible to prepare for; crazy promoters, stressed middlemen, demanding artists, and then there is me…willing to do whatever I need to do to make it happen. Push the CD at all costs. It is called GRINDING. And I ain't afraid of grinding. But there is a wise seasoned artist, crazy in her own artistic way, God bless her, that told me in Miami in February: "Baby, these promoters treat you how you let them. You give them bargain basement prices, because you want the gig, they will treat you bargain basement-ly". All I could say is, "I know that's right." As I type this, I have let it go. There is a reason and a lesson in this. I don't need to learn it again. So, as I look out of the train window, reminiscing on how far I have come, and how far I have left to go, I search for the middle ground where I can command respect for myself and my artistry, push my project and not settle for less than I deserve. I think that I need to go back to school to learn some of the skills of the magnificent trapeze artist, because it requires the same amount of precision and balance. Ok, I am being a bit dramatic but you get my point.
Performance is my first love. Creating art with reckless abandon, channeling my inner voice, allowing my imagination to go out to play--they all make me feel valid and productive. I yearn for getting back to that place really soon. I will be recording again next month, and that is when the administrative stuff will take the backseat again.
Alas, I am in a sentimental mood, anxious to play with my imagination, and leave those grumpy promoters, reporters, musicians, bookers, managers, handlers, to themselves..LOL
Be blessed, remain grateful and find your passion.
Xo,
Rt!