Listening to Ledisi's Sentimental Mood. Damn if that girl can't sing her face off.
I vowed that I would start to blog more often. I try to kid myself and say that I'll do it so folks can get in to my head, but its more so I can get OUT of my own head. ?. The things we tell ourselves to make the medicine go down easier…hey I am human.
So, I am on the train on my way to the WOULD BE rehearsal in Baltimore for the show that almost happened B. McKnight with Joe at the Lyric. There are so many other sides to this business that no matter how hard you try, it is impossible to prepare for; crazy promoters, stressed middlemen, demanding artists, and then there is me…willing to do whatever I need to do to make it happen. Push the CD at all costs. It is called GRINDING. And I ain't afraid of grinding. But there is a wise seasoned artist, crazy in her own artistic way, God bless her, that told me in Miami in February: "Baby, these promoters treat you how you let them. You give them bargain basement prices, because you want the gig, they will treat you bargain basement-ly". All I could say is, "I know that's right." As I type this, I have let it go. There is a reason and a lesson in this. I don't need to learn it again. So, as I look out of the train window, reminiscing on how far I have come, and how far I have left to go, I search for the middle ground where I can command respect for myself and my artistry, push my project and not settle for less than I deserve. I think that I need to go back to school to learn some of the skills of the magnificent trapeze artist, because it requires the same amount of precision and balance. Ok, I am being a bit dramatic but you get my point.
Performance is my first love. Creating art with reckless abandon, channeling my inner voice, allowing my imagination to go out to play--they all make me feel valid and productive. I yearn for getting back to that place really soon. I will be recording again next month, and that is when the administrative stuff will take the backseat again.
Alas, I am in a sentimental mood, anxious to play with my imagination, and leave those grumpy promoters, reporters, musicians, bookers, managers, handlers, to themselves..LOL
Be blessed, remain grateful and find your passion.
Xo,
Rt!
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